trainwreck.

jesus christ. its been almost a year. there’ve been a few changes around here, and i’ve been a little tied up with things. between a new dog, a few moves, and ultimately a new house (see PlasterQuest ) its been kind of hectic. my recent works have become less of “oil on board” and more like “window trim” and “gutter cleaning”. so domestic.

luckily, i do have a few new things to show you folks, and i hope to have more soon. i also uncovered a few gems from before the silence to entertain you with.

remember the painting of Baron Killian von Fuzzybottom? i made a companion piece, and right now theyre framed on the wall.

i’m thinking of doing a rather epic one in this vein at some point, maybe a larger one with mulitple figures. baskets of fruit, game animals, and.. well, i guess we’ll see where that takes me. i’m working on something big right now, real big. stay tuned.

i’ve got a david lynch box set waiting for me right now though, so i’ll catch you all sometime later. hopefully sooner than last time.

Thought I’d see what the craze with zspheres is… turns out they’re pretty rad. Also, WEIRD. I’m still trying to get familiar with the zbrush process, with the clearing of layers constantly and always saving new tools. Totally not like any other 3D package I’ve ever used.

This is what I got. It started pretty basic and then I got carried away actually working with it, which was surprising. Its totally engrossing for me. I messed up some things fairly early on, like the mesh density inconsistencies throughout the model (see stomach and breasts vs. upper arms). I didn’t plan for them in the zspheres phase and I was hesitant to go back and add them. Oh well. We’ll see what happens next.

By the by, I can see how zbrush models get lumpy really easily.

after a couple days of trying to get zbrush working on my machine, i was finally able to sit down last night and use it for something other than shape-drawing.  normally i would never post something so horrifically bad, but by the time i was done i found it so hilarious i promised myself to post it. i was also a couple deep.

i hope this doesnt make you delete the rss feed you set up for this blog.

SO as of late i’ve been chipping away at organizing the site a little better. anyone new to the blog might notice the shiny categories tabs at the top to filter the types of posts. while this was attainable in the past due to my obsessive tagging, i’m guessing nobody actually sorted that way (the categories are still over there to the right).

the second change was re-posting the comics in full size without thumbnail links. instant gratification. i’m looking for a way to get that section a little cleaner too, although i’m one step closer now that i found this badass inline posts plugin. link

you can thank brandon for prompting a re-interest in this digital atrocity.

stay tuned for more streamlining and potentially fresh content.

with everyone sick at the office i might as well go to a daycare and lick the floors. or, you know, sit in a building with no fresh air, the smell of exhaust, and a hundred odd people or so with questionable personal hygiene. so here i am, ill. lucky for you, that means i am being productive. here is my latest landscape. i finished it a couple weeks ago, but haven’t had to time to upload it until now. i wish the photo didn’t come out so blurry… i need to get in the habit of using that tripod. the jessle says it isn’t done until i put a spaceship in it. i gave that some thought and then laughed at her for being a science fiction dork.

a simpler time, yes. but amidst the partying, the professional exhilaration, the wallowing in loneliness, and the utter depression, there was a sense of being content with my discontent. it wasn’t exactly what i wanted out of life, but enough to be okay. actually, it was what i wanted, retrospectively, but didn’t see it at the time, and therefore became sub par. it was half assed. it was sad and busy and stressful, but it was good. i felt alive.

now in my current state, wits dulled over time from being comfortable too long, the sharp edge gone, i find myself in the same place on the other side of the line. stupid things will remind me, too. not to mention the fact that i glorify times past.

wet cobblestones glimmer with a sheen from the dull yellow-orange lamppost lights. the night is alive with people and cars and the music of the city. an old city, too, one that barely saw modern updating. my boot heels click on the damp stone as we make our way down the river. the dirty water sparkles pristine in the same orange light. sucking down tobacco smoke, head full of hops, simultaneously making conversation both light and heavy. the cool autumn night air, turning into winter. we would speculate on the transpirings of the evening, of what has already occurred and what will possibly occur. floating around old haunts, regulars all over town. the sound of laughter from whoever was our evening’s female companion when there was one.  that is, when it wasn’t just two disgruntled alcoholics, one plotting to land some “sweet chocolate”, the other incredulous about the actions of others. it was kind of a prowl, if the word prowl could also connotate a lackadaisical, haphazard, and stumbling approach to a night about town. cheap liquor and bad music, transparent and flaky friends. the spontaneity was amazing.

i guess my regret now is that i didn’t stop to admire the glittering river, the cool night breeze. i didn’t make the most of a large social hub. i didn’t come up with anything revolutionary. i couldn’t see past the frustration and the sense of resignation. but it was wonderful, and in that i think i am in love with my misery, even if it comes in the form of regret.

i took the day to recover from my weekend illness and used the time to catch up on some stuff. aside from the usual domestic bullshit, i was able to get some projects done. a few drawings i’m not utterly embarrassed about, but most of all, i finished an ink drawing i’ve been working on for the past two months.

now, if you’re wondering why it took so long to complete, just take a gander at it in full size. at first i figured i’d render out each blade of grass no problem. but then it became a Thing. i had to pencil it in to make sure i wasn’t messing it up, then inking it, then blasting the graphite. next thing i know i’m drawing every damned blade of grass in the field. looking at it now it doesn’t seem like much, but each one was meticulously placed, i assure you. if you know me personally you know i’m not kidding.

even looking at it now all i can see are the things i’d do differently the second time around. typical. i need to move on with my decisions, no matter how far off the mark they are from what i intended. i’ll spare you the complaining. i could go on forever and i recognize this.

anyways, here it is. i’ll probably bring it into photoshop and add color to it at some point. it’s too bad i don’t have the balls to take actual pigment to the original for fear of totally effing it up.

the spider dreams again. im sure the feeling of being trapped and panicked means something. its too bad my brain wanders to the worst places when im half-asleep in the small hours of the morning.